My Hard Thing
posted December 6th, 2006 in etc
My previous post probably left most of you wondering what the point was.
Simply put I was indirectly stating my “Hard Thing”.
My family recently joined a baptist church and upon doing that, I was thrown out of my comfort zone. Affiliating ourselves with the church is not in and of itself hard. The ramifications of that decision, however, is what has turned into my seemingly impossible “hard thing”.
For the first time four weeks ago, I found myself doing something I had been told would never happen. I was in a classroom with about one hundred youths ages 12 to 18. each week, chatter about their latest boyfriend, and last night’s football game escalates to an almost intolerable level. I had been told to be there to give a different view and in a sense regenerate the culture. I wasn’t ready, but I went anyway.
“But I listened when You said to go
And I set out in spite of my fears
About truth mixed with my imperfection
And the question of what to say when I got here… What should I tell them when
They’re thirsty Lord
My cup is empty Lord
Come and lead me here in this place
Cuz I’m honest, yeah, but I’m unprepared
And I’m just plain afraid ”(emphasis mine)
Those verses from “What Should I Tell Them” sums up what I’ve been facing. The difference is they’re not thirsty and my cup isn’t quite empty.
The discussions held in the small groups are mere milk, yet no one yearns for more.
I offer meat as often as possible, yet my voice is constantly drowned out – often times glossed over or laughed at. My attempts at trying to show a different angle are blocked at every turn, I seemingly fail each time.
Failure – the thing that scares me more than apathy, a democrat controlled congress, and “normal” guys combined; The one thing that can make me cry every time it strikes. Yet, I seem to repeat it every Sunday morning when my attempts to speak are blocked.
Out side the small group I am drowned out by the chatter and cliques that have been formed. There’s no way to jump into a conversation, they seem to speak in Greek.
My Hard thing is two-fold: 1. the constant reminder of blocked attempts and 2. trying to get through the barrier.
My hard thing cannot and will not overcome me, I need to overcome it. My hard thing cannot remain impossible, at some point a hole will be made in it’s impervious structure, and it shall be overcome.
I had wondered about your last post and what it all meant. Thanks for being honest and sharing this.
You said, My hard thing cannot and will not overcome me, I need to overcome it. My hard thing cannot remain impossible, at some point a hole will be made in it’s impervious structure, and it shall be overcome.
That’s the spirit Kierstyn! With that sort of attitude, you’ll go far in life. I will also pray for you and that the hearts of these teens will be open and willing to hear what you say!
That’s really hard, but you’re doing the right thing. I will be praying for you. Thanks for opening your heart to us. God is definitely pleased and will reward your for your perseverance.
“The difference is they’re not thirsty and my cup isn’t quite empty.”
I can totally indentify, Kierstyn. You’ll be in my prayers, I know that can be really tough. Keep up the good work. Sometimes it just takes a consistent example to achieve a breakthrough. Continue to let your light shine, and enjoy the ‘meat’ whenever you can get it.
God bless!
I’m sorry to hear that the kids you’re seeing are showing so much disinterest in what you have to bring them, Kierstyn. But I’m so glad to hear you’re being faithful where God’s called you right now, faithful to be the person He’s called you to be, regardless of whether you’re with people who agree with you or appreciate your input.
When you’re 12 years old and dread going to church every Sunday, it’s hard.
That *is* a hard thing.
I’ve experienced a little bit of that before, but it was when I was younger and I didn’t really know how to handle it. There weren’t a whole lot of kids in the church we were going to, but it was as if *I* didn’t really exist.
I wasn’t like them…and they didn’t really want to be like me…
So I can sympathize. It’s hard. It’s really hard.
Keep walking in faithfulness, girl. He’ll get you through it…
*hugs*
(apologies for being so out of touch lately, too, btw…)
Edison. 2,000. Lightbulb.
Keep trying. It will work.
Hey,
I just wanted to post two songs that you may have heard or may not have heard. They may serve as some wonderful encouragement. They certainly help me.
I Won’t Be Afraid
Verse 1
I am a messenger
Made by the Lord.
I have a message
For all the world.
Would all the world listen up now?
I have something to say.
It is very important
And I’m so afraid.
But with His help…
Chorus
I won’t be afraid of their faces.
I won’t worry about what they’ll think.
And if they should choose
To throw the first stones
Then I’ll stand up
Speak up
And lift up His name
And I won’t be afraid.
Verse 2
I am a messenger
Made by the Lord.
I’m giving the message
to all the world.
Yet they are jeering and mocking me too.
I’m trying to speak.
Its so very important.
I was so afraid,
but with His help…
Chorus
I won’t be afraid of their faces.
I won’t worry about what they’ll think.
And if they should choose
To throw the first stones
Then I’ll stand up
Speak up
And lift up His name
And I won’t be afraid.
The Chorus to Third Day’s “Keep on Shinin.”
keep on, keep on shinin’
wherever you may be
keep on, keep on shinin’
for all the world to see
Keep on shinin!! You will be in my prayers!
That certaintly is a hard thing, and I know for certain that God will bless your persistent in His will. My prayers are with you, sister!
So is this the new blog? Are you going to be posting here at Wordpress instead of Blogger?
wow! that is so awesome what you shared. i go through the same things at public school that u described and i sometimes feel the same way at church. keep up the good work. your struggle reminds me of what Paul said in Romans 7:19- ” For the good i will to do; i do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice.” that is kind of what you are struggling with, but u are doing good and they are doing evil back to you and these are people at church. that’s really hard. i will pray for you.
a sis in Christ prayin for you